October 13th @ 8:41 pm

C4N1SC4NN1B4L: 0H Y3AH AR3 U ST1LL G0NNA B3 C0M1NG 0UT W/ M3 AND AM3L1A TH1S W33K3ND?

C4N1SC4NN1B4L: 1TS T0TALLY CH1LL 1F N0T 1 KN0W UR ST1LL R3C0V3R1NG FRM WHAT HAPP3N3D

AntlerAnatomist: yeah i'll probably be staying home for a bit

AntlerAnatomist: im still reeling from the whole thing and its probably best if i keep a low profile for the time being

AntlerAnatomist the video that leaked is pretty low quality but i still want to play it safe

C4N1SC4NN1B4L: THATS FA1R!

C4N1SC4NN1B4L: 1LL S33 1F 1 CAN BR1NG U SMTH BACK :3

AntlerAnatomist: thank youuu

AntlerAnatomist: can we talk abt the whole thing actually?

AntlerAnatomist: I've talked to Amelia about it a little but she isn't the best in the comforting department

AntlerAnatomist: and i thought you might be able to offer some insights since u know a lot more abt saints then i do (despite being one lol)

C4N1SC4NN1B4L: Y3AH W3 CAN TALK!

C4N1SC4NN1B4L: ill drop the typing quirk as usual

AntlerAnatomist: thanks lol

AntlerAnatomist: man where to begin

AntlerAnatomist: so you're clear on everything that happened right? someone explained it to you?

C4N1SC4NN1B4L: yeah, amelia did

AntlerAnatomist: ok cool

AntlerAnatomist: i would've talked to you about it more myself but...i haven't exactly been in the best headspace these last few days

AntlerAnatomist: anyways

AntlerAnatomist: ive never hurt someone before. at least not like that...

AntlerAnatomist: its all making me feel really weird and bad. i dont think i feel totally guilty or remorseful over it, i mean it was pretty clearly self defense, and i dont...think the guy died

AntlerAnatomist: but i get this horrible sick feeling whenever i think about it

C4N1SC4NN1B4L: i understand, and its ok to feel bad about it, i think anyone would

C4N1SC4NN1B4L: honestly i think you did the right thing

AntlerAnatomist: i know

AntlerAnatomist: its just hard to stop thinking about how i actually did it

AntlerAnatomist: the idea that i could do something like that is...awful

AntlerAnatomist: it was awful to watch and to know i did it, even if the guy deserved it

AntlerAnatomist: i shouldve known that something like this would happen after the thing with the dog!

C4N1SC4NN1B4L: did you think you would have more control?

AntlerAnatomist: yeah i guess

AntlerAnatomist: both times its felt more like a reflex than something i was consciously choosing to do

C4N1SC4NN1B4L: maybe you could find ways of learning to control it?

AntlerAnatomist: maybe?? i think i can only do it with living things though, so i dont know how i would do that w/o hurting anyone

C4N1SC4NN1B4L: maybe it would help to explain how it feels, like to do the thing with the antlers

C4N1SC4NN1B4L: you might be able to gain some insight if you describe it?

AntlerAnatomist: uh its kinda hard to explain

AntlerAnatomist: so you know how ive mentioned that whenever i touch a person or animal, i get this really weird feeling, like i can sense their anatomy, and bodily processes? like my sense of touch extends past my hand

AntlerAnatomist: the antler thing is connected to that

AntlerAnatomist: i dont know if i can explain how tho...its one of those things that doesnt feel like anything else

AntlerAnatomist: especially since ive never done it on purpose before, its always been a reflex

AntlerAnatomist: like a fight or flight sort of thing

AntlerAnatomist: im sure i could do it consciously and with more precision if i wanted to

C4N1SC4NN1B4L: i think, at least these past two times, its probably been the elk working through you to protect you

C4N1SC4NN1B4L: that means it wasn't you fault! it just means the elk wants to keep you safe, and this just happens to be the best way it can do it

AntlerAnatomist: right

AntlerAnatomist: that does actually make me feel a bit better

AntlerAnatomist: or at least less worried that ill hurt someone i care about

C4N1SC4NN1B4L: im glad i could help

AntlerAnatomist: thanks for listening

AntlerAnatomist: not just now but like in general. its nice to have someone to talk to about saint related stuff without feeling like im admitting to a crime

C4N1SC4NN1B4L: im glad you feel that way! im always here if u need me <3

AntlerAnatomist: thank youuu <3 <3 im here 4 you to if u need me!